Wedding Bell Blues

Found this extract in my diary from September 08. Thought it worthwhile to draft it - to yet again prove why I think my best pals man is a wanker! (Sorry babe)
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My Babe is taking a leap of blind faith if you ask me. Wanker proposed to my girl!
Apologies there - no he didn't propose; he somewhat mentioned that they should get married, (probably after consuming a bottle of Jack)! the shocker; she said yes!

8 years is a long time to be with someone. I don’t know of any one thing consistent enough in my life to have lasted 8 years, apart from the mandatories, of school, and life, and a love for Lindt chocolate balls.


She squealed and told me; we hugged, jumped around like tweens, and started talking dresses and locations. What else should we have done? I think its a female thing!
Over a glass of red and a shared ciggie… while our Babe was in the kitchen - wanker and I chatted.

Me: OMG Chefy, what you are doing is big!
Chefy: um… yeah doood.
Me: Are you sure about this?
Chefy: Yeah doood.
Me: You know she’s my girl right.
Chefy: um… yeah doood.
Me: You break her heart and I’ll fucking kill you… you know that!
Chefy: um… yeah doood.
Me: Cool…
Chef: Aaah Crashlett, does that mean I get a threesome?
Me: Fuck off!


Seriously - how on earth am I supposed to give my approval for a situation which is:
1 - not remotely right
2 - to a guy who doesn't understand the meaning of an adjective
3 - when its so clearly blatant that they have outgrown oneanother


Later that eve…. with another bottle red and some sluuurrred speach...

Me: Babe... you know I wuv you right!
Babe: Offf course angel.
Me: And I’m sooooo excited for you, I kinda want to cry.
Babe: aah Annggel…
Me: Just be sure about this ok… pleazzze!
Babe: I loooooove him angel…
Me: I know… it’s just that… aah fuck, never mind.
Babe: Whhat?
Me: It’s just that… …*sigh*….. I’ve got one hell of a wedding to plan, and I’m only evvva gonnnna do this once for ya…
Babe: Angeel… I loooove yoooou
Me: Loove you toooo…


Why am I holding back the truth…?