There is a reason that people should be prohibited from TWD = “texting whilst drunk “
If they don’t believe me – use me as the official case study! Go ahead – I give you permission.
After a pretty fabulous wine tasting evening – thanks uncle who owns vineyard - we returned to the Best Gal Pals house. (BGP)
Shortly after bed time prep – which involved me climbing into bed fully clothed with boots still on - covered in CT street muck, (she must love me as she didn’t kick me out); I decided that now was the perfect time to chat to long lost little cuz via text.
‘lil Cuz is a tad bit younger than myself – which explains why she was in the midst of full party mode on a Friday night, whilst I was almost comatose snug in BGPs bed - at 10:30! – on a Friday night!
Double dose of lamo there!
It’s ok – I’m beyond the point of thinking that’s sad. I like sleep! – more than I like drunk people falling over me!
Anyhoo – ‘lil cuz was determined I come out and party. My brain and body were determined I did not.
So after a last good night text - wishing her luck on the stalker drive-by of boyfriend to be, I ended our late night vino induced convo with: blah blah blah...."naked virgin tucked safely in bed!”
SEND....
SLEEP!!!
ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz...
FYI – for all you sicko freaky type of peeps out there reading this - it’s a back in the day joke!
Take a guess... yes – I know you know what’s coming next!
I’m not that great at the “shock tactic” type of literature!
WRONG NUMBER!
Not just any wrong number...
WRONG NUMBER OF THE INCREDIBLE YUMMY MAN I AM TRYING TO IMPRESS FOR LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH AND POTENTIAL FUN TIMES...
but - I go through life blisfuly unaware as to the error of my ways...
I get a reply – blah blah rah rah blah... “I hope that you don’t normally sent those types of messages to people in the middle of the night – they may get the wrong impression”
You know the feeling; the one where you actually go COLD from fear, and then realization sets in? Yip - it attacked me like one of those Twilight wolves on heat...
ULTIMATE OUTCOME: COMPLETE AND HORRENDOUS DISASTER!!
Am now moving to the Arctic and going to hide in an ice cave somewhere – where it's too cold to be naked and there is no reception.. NONE!!!
